You can be secure, sweet and humble all at the same time. But be prepared to come out of your shell. Guys like confident, interesting people who lead their own lives. The only guys who like insecure people are the ones who are insecure themselves and want to dominate another human being. And who wants to be with a guy who wants a person to feel bad about themselves, or who wants to tell you how to be all the time? That’s not healthy, and you deserve much better. [2] X Research source
A little make-up can go a long way. You don’t need to color-by-number your face, but mascara opens up your eyes, lip-balm enhances your smile, concealer can cover any small insecurities, and tweezers could really help nightmare eyebrows. Just wear what you are comfortable with. Dress in clothes you feel comfortable in. Don’t squeeze yourself into a body-con skirt or tight jeans if that’s not your usual style. A well-fitting pair of pants and a top that brings out the color of your eyes is a safe but striking combo. Smile a lot - research has found that people become more attractive to others when they smile, so flash those pearly whites as often as possible to look prettier, as well as friendlier and more approachable. [4] X Research source
Most guys won’t ask you out because they’re afraid of getting shot down. You’ve got to walk before you run, right? Say “Hi”. Say “Good-bye”. Give a little wave. When he reciprocates, you’ll know that you have his attention. Introduce yourself somehow and make conversation. It’s nearly impossible for someone to like you if he doesn’t get to know you, unless he “likes” you for all the wrong reasons.
If you’re too serious or straight-faced all the time, he may find you intimidating and unapproachable, which is the last thing you want. Express your sense of humor in your own way. Some people are witty and sarcastic, others can tell hilarious stories, and many people just do quirky things and poke fun at themselves. No matter what tickles your sense of humor, it’s much easier to like someone who you can have a good laugh with once in a while. If you don’t find something to laugh about together, then maybe you’ll discover that you don’t like him after all!
If you have a Facebook account and he’s not already in your friends list, invite him; just make sure your status is set as single! You should also make it obvious in other subtle ways, such as hanging out with your friends in a place where you know he’ll be, dropping subtle hints about not knowing who to go with to an event, etc. Letting your friends in on the situation is probably a good idea - they can help strategize to get the two of you together, and also diffuse any awkward situations. They also know where you stand on the relationship front and won’t start falling for him themselves.
Guys will usually be more open with guys than girls, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t get close to him as a girl- that’s usually where the magic happens. Just be careful though - if it gets too platonic, you might lose the romantic connection and sometimes it can be really hard to get back that spark once you are placed firmly in the friend-zone. If this happens, things can become too complicated and you might be tempted to give up. A little bit of flirtation throughout the relationship will keep things going nicely.
Ask him stimulating, interesting questions; find out about his life, his family, his friends; tell him funny stories. Anything that opens up a dialogue between the two of you. If you can get the guy talking about something he’s really passionate about - whether it’s a favorite sports team, band, author - then you’re on to a winner. When he’s talking to you about something he loves, he’ll start to associate the positive emotions he feels with you!
Compliment something about his appearance, like his cute dimples or cool new haircut. Just don’t overdo it - guys can be shy about that sort of thing. A simple “I love the color of your eyes” is all you need to say. However, compliments don’t just need to be focused on appearance. If he’s talking about something that he loves, tell him that you admire how passionate he is. You can also compliment his sporting performance or tell him what a great job he did on a class project. [6] X Research source
If he thinks of himself as the next premier league player, turn up at any football practices you’re invited to and cheer him on. If he loves rock-climbing, ask him if he can show you how, and make a good-faith effort to see why he’s so into it. Have an open mind. You can also invite him along to experience some of your interests. For instance, you could bring him along to a dance class or invite him to try out some unusual ethnic cuisine. Discovering that you’re a person who can introduce him to new and exciting experiences can be a major attraction for a guy.
It doesn’t matter what the interest is, it could be as simple as the ability to recite lines from Family Guy episodes or as intense as a fascination with astrophysics - as long as it leads him to see you as a kindred spirit. For example, If you both love a certain kind of music, ask him if he’s ever listened to a particular artist and offer to play a CD for him. Or if a mutual favorite band comes to town, invite him to go with you.
If you can get his friends on your team, that’s a major bonus. They will root for you and bring you up around your crush, even when you’re not there. This will ensure that you’re always on his mind. Be careful though. You don’t want to flirt with his friends. This will send conflicting signals and may make you seem like a tease.
Smile. Make sure to smile whenever you see the guy - this lets him know that you’re happy to see him. Even if he’s in a group of people, reserve the biggest smile for him. Make eye contact. Making eye contact is an essential flirting technique. One great tip is to look at him from across the room, then once he catches you looking hold his gaze for a moment before smiling and looking away. He’ll be hooked. [10] X Research source Make physical contact. Another great flirting technique is to touch the guy in a more-than-friends kinda way. Lightly brush his arm when you’re talking, give him a hug when you greet him, or gently mess his hair when you’re joking around. This will give him the “I’m interested” vibe pretty quickly.
For example, if he has a sports game or exam coming up, you could text to wish him good luck. He’ll hopefully find this sweet and appreciate the fact that you remembered. However, you should also be sure not to overdo it. Remember the rule: if you send two consecutive texts without getting a reply, you should stop texting. It needs to be reciprocal.
If he says yes, that’s a pretty sure indication that he’s interested in you, or at least that he really enjoys your company. Take it as a positive sign and enjoy it. Just try not to let things get awkward - you’re just two friends having a good time, right? If he says no, don’t freak out too much. He may genuinely have another commitment, or he may just feel too shy around you to hang out one-on-one. Give it some more time, then try again. If he says no a second time, you might have to face the fact that he’s not interested.
Don’t believe the hype about guys having to ask girls out. In reality, guys love strong, confident people who know what they want. In fact, just the fact that you had the courage to ask might be enough to impress the guy and make him say yes. Never get someone else to ask a guy out for you. It is immature and will increase the chances of the guy saying no. Even if you’re too shy to ask him to his face, a text message or handwritten note will be much more effective than the “send a friend” method.
Eventually he’ll tell you one way or another whether or not he’s interested in reciprocating your affection. And if he’s not, don’t hang around him like a lost puppy. Sometimes you might be incompatible in ways that you don’t see, and sometimes a guy just isn’t ready for a long term relationship. If this is the case, don’t waste any time in moving on! Don’t take rejection too personally. It happens to everyone at one time or another. There are plenty more fish in the sea and as long as you have confidence in yourself, you know that you’re a good catch and the right guy is out there waiting for you.
Turn the situation around. If there was some random guy who took an interest in you, is there anything that he could do to make you like him? Probably not. The reality is that you will either like him that way, or you won’t. You will find him attractive or not. You will find him funny or not. All he can do is try to be the best person he can be, and hope that you agree. The reverse is also true. Be the best person you can be, and let it develop––or not––from there.
