Start with small talk about the weather or a teacher you have in common. Compliment her on her hair, clothes or smile. Get to know her personal preferences by discussing movie scenes or songs to get an idea of what kind of things she likes and how she feels about romantic encounters. [3] X Research source Keep your face tilted up when you talk to her as this makes you seem more masculine and attractive. [4] X Research source
Some questions or prompts to ask in order to enhance bonding are: Describe a perfect day. What do you feel most grateful for in your life? What is the greatest thing that you have accomplishment in your life? What memory do you treasure the most? What is your worst memory? If your house caught on fire and you only had time to save one item (family and pets are already safe), what would it be? [7] X Research source Show her that you like her by smiling and looking into her eyes. [8] X Research source Let her know how you feel. She may not know that you want to be more than friends, so the best thing you can do to avoid being stuck in the “friend zone” is to tell her you want more. [9] X Research source
Positive body language can be shown when she moves towards you, points her feet toward you, uncrosses her legs, keeps her arms open and palms up, playfully fondles her jewelry or hair, smiles or maintains eye contact. [10] X Expert Source Laura BilottaDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 4 March 2020. [11] X Research source Negative body language may mean she moves away from you, points her feet away from you, keeps her legs and arms crossed, palms down, hands closed, fidgets, frowns or turns her eyes to the side. [12] X Research source If you are getting a lot of negative body language, then you should probably change your approach or try again at a better time or when she is in a better mood. If she makes a lot of body contact with you, such as touching your hand, rubbing against your knee, gently bumping up against you, tapping you on the shoulder or holding your hand, then she’s probably into you. [13] X Expert Source Laura BilottaDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.
Be a gentleman. Pull out her chair at a restaurant and push it back in after she sits down. This gives you the opportunity to gently touch her on the shoulder, arm or upper back. Hold her hand. If she doesn’t pull away from you, then you know she likes what you are doing. Adjust her hair. Touching her hair is intimate without being as personal as a kiss and will allow you to see how she feels about you. If she flinches or moves away, then she’s probably not ready or interested in a kiss. If she seems to like it, then you can take the next step toward that first kiss. [15] X Research source Try a kiss on the cheek first. Lean in and give her a peck on the cheek to see whether she offers positive or negative feedback. Then you can decide when it’s time to try a real mouth-to-mouth kiss.
Not only are couples who engage in exciting activities significantly happier in their long-term relationships [19] X Research source , but being in an excited state of mind also increases sexual arousal in the short-term as well. [20] X Research source Go on some rides together before you are alone together. Ski, hike, dance or to a concert—anything that will get the adrenaline flowing for both of you.
The location might be outside under the stars, in a candle-lit restaurant or a dark gym during lunch, but make sure the two of you have some privacy. She may not want an audience.
You’ll want your lips to be soft, so bring along some lip balm or chap-stick as well. Wear red. It makes men seem more attractive and sexually desirable. [23] X Research source
The right time for the two of you may be toward the end of the first or second date, but it’s better to do it sometime before the end of the night so you’re not sitting in the car or standing in the doorway awkwardly. [25] X Research source Be spontaneous. An incredible kiss happens when everything falls into place. It does not have to be at any specific point during your time together. It could happen before you enter a restaurant early in the evening, across a dinner table, in a theater, or just while taking a stroll under a full moon. [26] X Research source Try not to ask first. Asking permission shows a lack of confidence and can ruin the moment. Her body language should tell you when she’s ready, but if you really aren’t sure, you can ask.
Use touch to make the kiss more interesting, such as holding her cheek or head, brushing her hair back, touching her neck or cuddling. Though you may maintain eye contact until she returns the kiss, it’s best to close your eyes once your lips touch. [29] X Research source
Now’s the time to follow her lead and match her movements and passion. [32] X Research source Listen to her breathing to see if she is enjoying the kiss and to ensure you are letting her get enough air. [33] X Research source
Don’t make over generalizations about the fact that this girl didn’t want a kiss. Realize that being rejected in this one particular situation with this person does not mean that it will happen again with someone else or that there is anything wrong with you. It’s important to know that what happened does not say anything about your self-worth or value as a person. [34] X Research source Give yourself some time to “get over” your feelings for this girl and try again with someone else that you like.
