If your sister achieves something, offer her a sincere congratulations. For example, say something like, “Good job! I’m so proud!” if she gets straight A’s one semester. If you’re supportive of your sister, she’s more likely to be supportive of you in return. Remember, it’s normal to be jealous at times. Sometimes, you may wish you were the one achieving something. However, just because you feel a negative emotion does not mean you have to act on it. Try to put your own negativity aside and try to genuinely congratulate your sister.
If your sister is upsetting you, you have the right to ask her to stop. Siblings sometimes take a while to understand one another’s boundaries, and your sister may occasionally inadvertently make you uncomfortable. In these situations, respond accordingly. Ask your sister to stop the behavior, but do so in a mature fashion. Do not say, “Get out of my room! I don’t want you here!” Instead, say something like, “I need some space to myself sometimes, and I don’t like it when you’re in my room when I’m trying to read”. If your sister continues to disturb you and tends to treat you disrespectfully, you can discuss this sincerely with your parents. Alternatively, you can stop communicating with your sister by staying away from her for a while until she learns to treat you respectfully again. Sometimes, your sibling may not understand you are trying to establish boundaries. Do not hesitate to ask a parent for help if your sibling is not respecting your boundaries.
Teaming up and making chores fun can help strengthen your relationship. If washing dishes seems tedious, the two of you can try making up songs to pass the time. [3] X Expert Source Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RDLicensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.
Think about how you treat your friends from school. Chances are, you do not do things like tease and torment them, which you may to do your sister. Try to offer your sister this same kindness. Hang out with your sister sometimes. Just because she’s family does not mean the two of you can’t hang out like friends. Go shopping. Invite her on a bike ride. Play a board game together. This would enable a positive relationship between you and your sister.
Remind yourself of your own talents and skills. Your sister may have read all the works of Jane Austen, but maybe you’re an excellent basketball player. Your sister may be great at figure skating, but you excel at horseback riding. Remember, everyone is unique. There is no sense comparing yourself to your sister, as the two of you are different people. It’s okay that you have different skills.
Throughout the day, pause and express appreciation for your sister. When she does something you like, make a point of saying so. For example, “Chloe, I really appreciate that you helped me with my math homework tonight. " If you’re able to appreciate your sister regularly, you will be less frustrated with her when conflicts arise. You will remember why your sister’s good qualities outweigh her bad ones.
Many siblings turn out to be good friends as adults. Even if the situation is tense now, you may one day think of your sister as your best friend. Keep this in mind when you feel frustrated. Remember, a single moment does not define an entire relationship. Having perspective will help you let certain frustrations go.
Pause when you find yourself labeling your sister. Take a second to question the validity of this label. Does your sister see herself this way? Is there anything about your sister that does not fit with this label? Focus on aspects of your sister’s personality that don’t fit with the label you have. Maybe you think of your sister as a jock more than an intellectual. Pause and consider the fact she just aced her chemistry final.
Attend your sister’s basketball game after school. Accompany her to her next piano lesson. Ask her to join you in turn. You could, for example, invite her to your upcoming art show. Hang out during the day as well. Watch a movie with your sister after school. Play a game together. Talk about things like movies, books, and music.
Let your sister know that she has hurt or upset you. Use simple language to explain the unacceptable behavior instead of getting angry in return. For example, say something like, “Ella, do not pinch me. Pinching hurts. " This is more effective than yelling or pinching back.
Do not bring it up in a negative way. You do not want your parents to think you’re being argumentative or mean. Present yourself as wanting to resolve the issue rather than get your parents on your side. For example, say something like, “Dad, I’m having trouble with Sophie lately. Can you give me some advice on how to talk to her about how she read my diary?”
