Eliminate negative thoughts about yourself. If you notice that you often have thoughts pop into your head that put yourself down, try to work on silencing and not dwelling on those thoughts. Focus on others. One common trait of unconfident people is that they’re too in their own heads. Try to focus more on what’s going on around you, and what people are doing and saying. Learn to accept failure. The truth is, you’re going to rejected, and social situations of all sorts are not always going to go your way. Acceptance of this fact will take you far in terms of gaining confidence.

For example, if you like computers, consider learning how to program as a hobby. There are many free websites that can be used to learn how to code.

Find a news website you like and start browsing it on a regular basis. Talk to your friends about what shows and movies they’ve been into recently, and what music they’ve been listening to. You don’t have to like everything that’s popular, just learn what’s out there and what you think of it.

Brush your teeth and floss daily. Get regular haircuts and wash and condition your hair regularly. Always wear deodorant. And body wash is your friend.

What you say to her when you approach matters much less than being confident and friendly when you do it. When in doubt, just compliment her on something she’s wearing. If you say it sincerely with a warm smile, there’s a good chance she’ll be open to talking to you. [7] X Research source Often times, the best and easiest way to start a conversation with anyone, including the girl you like, is to comment on something that’s going on around you. For example, at a live music show, ask her what songs she’s looking forward to hearing the headliner play.

Add her on Facebook too for good measure. That way you’ll have another avenue to interact with her. Liking some of her statuses and noticing whether she does the same is a good way to subtly gauge her interest in you. It’s been shown that people who are interested in each other tend to interact on Facebook more. [9] X Research source Be careful not to text her too much or try to be around her constantly, as this can come across as trying too hard.

Pay attention, in other words, don’t be thinking about anything other than what she’s saying. If she’s talking about what she did over the weekend, don’t be thinking about what you did over the weekend at the same time. Make your interest in her words clear, through body language and facial expressions that react to what she’s saying. The most basic example of this is nodding and saying “uh-huh” in an interested tone when she completes ideas, to show that you’ve heard and understand. Give feedback, in the form of questions about what she’s saying, and statements about how you can relate. For example, if she says she wants to get a cat once she moves to her new apartment, ask her if she had any pets growing up. She’ll be able to tell if you aren’t really listening. [12] X Expert Source Cher GopmanDating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.

Some of the best things to compliment girls on include: her clothes, her academic successes, positive traits in her personality, or her skill at a hobby she enjoys.

Non-invasive touches like touching her upper arm when making a point or sitting next to her so your legs slightly touch. [15] X Expert Source Cher GopmanDating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019. Occasional eye contact with her that lasts longer than normal conversational eye contact. [16] X Expert Source Cher GopmanDating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019. Playful teasing about little things. This is best done when the conversation is non-serious.

If she doesn’t accept, don’t sweat it. Maybe she just needs to know you better first. It’s not worth wondering what you could have done differently. Try hanging out with her in a group so you can both get to know each other. Afterward, ask her out on a date, like grabbing coffee or seeing a movie. [18] X Expert Source Cher GopmanDating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.

Signs of a good date include: lots of laughter, a combination of fun conversation and deep conversation, lots of eye contact and smiling, and most importantly, leaving the date feeling like you’ve really bonded. This best way to make a good first date likely is to focus on three simple things: relax, be your whole and honest self, and focus on your desire to get to know her.