Give her a massage. Practice your foot or back massage so that you can truly help her relax. Warm up her muscles while giving her some loving attention. Run your fingers or lips across her joints. The neck, inside elbows, and the back of the knee are more sensitive than other parts of the body. Touch her thighs. Work your way slowly up and down her legs. Grab her rear and dig your fingers into her hip. [2] X Research source
Don’t be afraid to ask her. [5] X Research source Jacqueline Hellyer. Licensed Psychosexual Therapist. If you’re comfortable doing so, you can simply say, “Do you find that you’re more dominant or more submissive in bed?” You might also phrase it as a statement: “I love the feeling of taking charge in the bedroom. How do you like it when I do that?”
Compliment her beauty. Pick your favorite body part and tell her what you like about it. Don’t just say, “You’re so hot. " Tell her, “You have the most gorgeous eyes,” or “The muscles in your back are so strong – all of that yoga is paying off!” Compliment her mind or her personality. Tell her how much you appreciate her storytelling ability, or the way that she passionately explains her ideas. Mention how impressed you are by her kindness, her compassion, or her organizational skills. Don’t just fixate on her body. Compliment her on a specific action or event. Bring up something that happened recently: “I was really impressed by the way that you handled the situation with your sister today. I know that it’s frustrating – but you were so patient, and you truly held everything together. "
Many women who work full-time jobs are still doing more than half of the chores and childcare. If she says that she’s too tired for sex, then it may be time to take some of the burden off her shoulders indefinitely. [6] X Research source
Don’t assume that you can turn a woman on with a one-size-fits-all plan! Every person has his or her own particular desires and preferences, so don’t be afraid to ask what she likes. [7] X Research source Jacqueline Hellyer. Licensed Psychosexual Therapist.
The next time you have an argument, don’t just focus on trying to win. Apologize, and consider her feelings. Make her feel heard. [8] X Research source
This can be a great way to fire up the physical side of your relationship. When you exercise, you are engaging with your body in a conscious way – and when you exercise with your partner, you are engaging with her body as well. Compliment her on her physique, and impress her with your own athleticism.
Pick something that you like to do, too! Find the intersections between your passions and hers.