Invite as many or as little people as you feel comfortable; you control the guest list! If you’re going out, pick a favorite restaurant you already love or, if you’re feeling adventurous, go to a new place you’ve been wanting to try. If you’re staying in, buy or make food and decorations to highlight the birthday theme, or consider incorporating a nontraditional theme, like a favorite era or trend, to liven it up further. Buy or make a cake to make it feel like a real birthday celebration!
Buy yourself a present you were hoping to get but did not. Rent a favorite movie and order takeout from your favorite restaurant. Invite some friends over or have a solo DIY spa day.
Focusing on what you were worried would not happen. If you were so worried about what gifts you would or wouldn’t get, or whether or not someone special would call on your birthday, you have worked yourself up so much before your birthday even started. This type of thinking causes so much anxiety about birthday expectations that having any fun is an uphill battle. Looking forward to what could happen. Rather than worrying about what won’t happen, this type of thinking is much more hopeful about all of the upcoming possibilities. Instead of looking towards the future with anxiety about what might not happen, you were looking forward to your birthday with feelings of excitement and anticipation.
Expectations of the birthday celebrations themselves. Because many of us expect birthdays to be a big deal, a full day when you are showered with gifts and attention, when this level of hype is not met, the overall feeling for the day is that it was a big letdown. We focus so much on what the birthday should be that we don’t enjoy what it is. Expectations of where and what our life should be. Birthdays come once a year and are a prime time to reflect on the past year and consider the future. For some, this means coming to terms with the inaccuracy of the timeline of goals we devise for ourselves. These expectations are often harder to deal with, and can definitely sour a birthday.
Do you feel rejected? Especially since everything is posted on social media, even small rejections, like not many people writing “Happy birthday!” on your wall, can feel intensely hurtful. Try to remember that anyone reaching out in any manner is a wonderful gesture; it’s not a competition for the most postings or likes. Are you worried about outstanding goals? If expectations of where your life should be are causing your bad mood, reflect on when and why you came up with that goal in the first place. Comparing yourself to others is never a good idea, and maybe the goals you made for yourself when you were younger no longer match what you really want for yourself now. Are you brooding over one particular person not wishing you well on your birthday? Perhaps an ex or a crush didn’t reach out on your birthday, which can sting. Instead of thinking about the one person who didn’t call, think about those who did. Reread the cards or wall posts you received, and redirect your thinking.
Think about all that you have accomplished in the past year and beyond. You might not be where you thought you’d be at this time, but you shouldn’t negate the goals you did accomplish. Take a minute to make a list of “wins” for the year! Make a plan for what you would like to accomplish this year moving forward. Just remember to make your goals reasonable so that you don’t set yourself up for more disappointment next year. Make a plan to do something good for somebody else, like contributing towards improving your community. [7] X Expert Source Mirjam Quinn, PhDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 3 March 2022. Make a plan to really celebrate someone else’s birthday. If a friend or family members birthday is coming up, get over your disappointment by helping to ensure that they aren’t disappointed like you were on their special day. It will make you feel better, and it will make them feel loved.
“So I’m thinking I might schedule a massage since my birthday was last week. ” This should let them know that you were hoping for some more treats on your birthday. “Can you please help me organize a belated outing for my birthday?” There’s nothing wrong with asking for help; in fact, this will not only let them know that your expectations weren’t met, but will also ensure that the activities are exactly what you want to do! “I know we went out to dinner for my birthday, but I kind of feel like going dancing too. What do you think?” This is a subtle, but non-passive-aggressive, way of indicating that you enjoyed the birthday activities thus far but were also hoping for a little more fun before the day is over.
