Consider gathering things you have that make you think of him and putting them in a box, throwing them away, or giving them away. Once your private space is cleared of reminders, consider holding a small cleansing ceremony. Burn some sage incense and walk through your room or your home. [2] X Research source When a wish for him comes up, don’t suppress it and don’t cling to it. Acknowledge how you feel, but remind yourself that you are choosing to move on. [3] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Listen to music that lets you feel your feelings. Exercise. It helps to clear your mind and you will be healthier. Write in a diary if you have one. Write a letter to him if you want. Keep it for a week or two before you give it to him, or don’t give it to him at all. The point is to get your feelings out. Go on some long walks by yourself. You’ll have time to think, and you’ll feel better for the exercise. Know when to stop. If you’re dropping the people and projects that matter to you, you’re grieving too much. Consult a therapist if you can’t get back into your normal life. [5] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
If you feel like he did something wrong, and you’re friends, consider letting him know that you feel hurt. You can write a brief letter or email if it’s too painful to talk to him in person. If you aren’t friends, it might feel better to not communicate. Ask yourself what would feel better, and follow that path.
You don’t have to demonize him, of course. Just take your image of him with a grain of salt. Remember, he was never perfect: you just had some perfect feelings about him.
Make a list of things you like about yourself. Include big things and small things. Group accomplishments, personality traits, and talents. Make a list of what you really care for in a relationship, and see if he fulfilled those expectations. He probably won’t, and that’s okay! Ask yourself, what can you count on yourself to do? What difficulties have you overcome?
Ask friends to do things with you, but also try things that will get you out of your comfort zone. Talking to new people will be restorative.
Stick to a healthy routine every day. Clean up and dress yourself nicely, even when you feel like sludge—it will make you feel better.
Remember that there is always someone for you. You will find a guy who adores you soon enough. Don’t rush to rebound, or you might end up breaking someone else’s heart. It will hurt you and it could hurt them. It’s okay to get out and flirt. Don’t get seriously involved with someone right away, but do flirt a little or even go on casual dates if that’s fun for you.
Bring a friend when you know you’ll run into him. We can’t always avoid people who like—if you know you’ll have to be around him sometimes, bring friends who know what’s going on with you to back you up. Keep it positive. You don’t have to glare at him or treat him rudely. When you feel normal again, you might end up being real friends with this guy. Just be polite and try to avoid him discreetly.
If he’s a good friend and all your friends are mutual, try organizing smaller outings—just two or three at a time—so that his absence doesn’t feel conspicuous.
Be sure to tell them if what you’re saying is private. Ask them not to treat the guy you had a crush on any differently—unless he was a jerk, of course.
