Do not see the person at social events, text him, or call him. If you feel the temptation to reach out to him, do something for yourself or hang out with another friend. You might make an agreement with another friend that whenever you feel tempted to contact him, you contact your friend instead. In some cases, it’s not possible to completely cut someone off. If you work or go to school with the guy, for example, you may need to see him. If this is the case, keep interactions short and to the point. Do not engage in small talk.
If the guy keeps sending these types of texts after you’ve ignored them for a while, text him something like, “I don’t want this kind of relationship anymore. Please stop texting me. " When someone is used to a certain behavior and getting a certain reward and this suddenly stops working, they will often try harder for a time before giving up. Stand firm. They will eventually move on.
Sometimes, it’s very tempting to check an ex’s social media; however, doing so will not result in you feeling better, so do your best to not indulge in the practice. Each time you are tempted to click on his profile, remind yourself it will only result in you feeling bad and set you back in your efforts to get over him. You will probably slip up a few times in regards to checking your ex’s profile. If this happens, do not beat yourself up. Remember that no one is perfect. Consider taking a break from social media altogether until you are feeling stronger. This can help you focus on other activities and practice good self-care. Another option is to just delete these apps from your phone, leaving only the less convenient option of using your computer.
This can be a painful,confusing experience. Be compassionate with yourself as you sort through your emotions. [5] X Expert Source Samantha Fox, MS, LMFTMarriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 19 January 2021. Remember that being sad sometimes is a normal part of life. People may tell you to cheer up or go get over it long before you are ready, but it’s okay to be sad for a little while. Take a few minutes each day to simply experience your feelings, good and bad. This will allow you to heal. Try journaling or talking to a trusted friend to help you process these emotions. It is important to honor your feelings — this will help you heal.
In the wake of rejection, people often have unrealistic thoughts about the importance of a relationship. You may find yourself thinking everything would be easier if he had not rejected you. Remind yourself there’s no such thing as perfect. What would have happened if you had gotten together in a more romantic sense? There would still have been difficulties and fights, and you may very well have broken up. The fact is, the guy was not interested in more than sex and, even if he were, he may not have made a very good partner.
There are many reasons, most of which are not personal, that a guy may have not had romantic interest in you. Maybe he liked you and was attracted to you, but felt like you were on different paths in life. Maybe he’s not in a place where he can handle a romantic relationship. Maybe he simply prefers a different type of woman for romances than he does for casual encounters. Whatever the reason, it probably has nothing to do with you as a person. You might have rejected people before and it likely wasn’t because there was something wrong with them. They simply were not your type. It can be helpful to think of this as one experience in the journey of life — not as something absolute. It is easier to deal with feelings of regret if you feel that they serve a purpose.
Think about everything about him that bothered you. Maybe he talked about himself too much. Maybe he returned texts using brief, one word answers. Maybe you didn’t like the same books or movies. You can also focus on petty things. Maybe you hated his haircut or he never clipped his toenails. Write these down and review them regularly. You may even post them on your mirror or somewhere you will see them frequently. This will help keep you from idealizing the relationship.
For example, you think something like, “He’s such a jerk. I was way too good for him. " Rephrase that in neutral terms for a more realistic evaluation of the situation. For example, “We clearly wanted different things and were on different paths. "
Make a list of everything he did to disappoint you. For example, write things like, “He never held my hand in public” and “He didn’t want to call me his girlfriend. " Once you’re done, set the list aside and try to focus your energy somewhere else.
It is important to strike a balance between activity/distraction and rest/reflection. Thinking about it too much can result in depression, but running away from it can keep you from healing. Think about something you always wanted to do. For example, did you always want to take up running? Try developing a workout routine that will teach you to run. People often become obsessive over past lovers. Sometimes, the easiest way to beat one obsession is to replace it with another.
Try to enjoy the small day to day things. Even something as simple as eating a great lunch should be savored. If you find yourself thinking about your ex, stop and think something like, “That was then. I’m going to focus on what I’m doing and how I’m feeling right now. " You can use grounding techniques to get off the hamster wheel of thinking about him and bring you into the present. Look around and name five things you see. Five colors. Five textures. Close your eyes and identify what you hear or smell.
Keep up with personal hygiene. Even if you feel like lingering in bed all day, get up, shower, and brush your teeth. Stay on track with your exercise routine as best as you can. If you’re feeling really down, reduce your routine. For example, go for a brisk walk instead of a jog. Eat right. Binging on junk food may be tempting when you’re feeling down, but it’s unlikely to make you feel better.
