Obsession with a person is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. You should limit your contact with a person about whom you have developed an unhealthy obsession. Spend time distracting yourself with other things, finding a way to move on to something else or something greater. [3] X Research source Maybe you’re obsessed with a particular pastime, like playing your favorite video game. If that’s the case, put the game out of your sight by uninstalling it from your computer or giving your console to a friend to keep for a while until your obsession dies down.
Cutting off your obsession’s sustenance is no easy task. You might find yourself playing mental games, like telling yourself you’ll just look at someone’s Facebook page one last time before stopping this obsession. But if you want to shed your obsession, you have to cut yourself off right when you want to indulge the most. Sometimes an obsession is so strong that it persists no matter how much you try to starve it. No matter how hard you try to cut yourself off, your thoughts might keep returning to your obsession. If that’s the case, don’t be hard on yourself—you can still beat your obsession, it’s just going to take a bit more time.
Do some kind of physical exercise that occupies your brain, too. Running and walking might not be your best bet, since you’ll have too much time to think about your obsession. Try rock climbing, caving, or playing a team sport that engages both your mind and body. Works of fiction make excellent distractions. Pick up a new book or watch a film with themes that have nothing to do with your current obsession. In the moment, when your thoughts are drifting and you need an emergency distraction, try blasting some music, calling up a friend (to talk about anything but your obsession), reading an engaging news article or getting back to work.
Repairing relationships that you’ve been neglecting is a great way to get over an obsession. Your friends and family will be glad to have you back, and they’ll provide new and interesting ideas, problems, and drama to engage with. It will feel good to think about something new for a change! Lots of people find that burying themselves in work can stop obsessive thoughts from taking over. Whatever your work is, focus on giving it your very best.
Engage your senses and really feel what’s going on around you. What do you smell, see, hear and taste right this moment? Notice what’s happening right in front of your face, instead of thinking about something else all of the time. Really listen to people when they’re talking to you. Let yourself get absorbed into conversations, instead of absent-mindedly nodding while your head is in the clouds. It might help to have a mantra you can recite when you notice your thoughts turning obsessive. Repeating something simple as “Breathe,” “Connect to Now” or “I am here” might turn your thoughts back to the present. [6] X Research source
CBT can also be used to develop a word or action that can “break” the obsessive thought and allow you to focus on something else. [7] X Research source
Avoid comparing new people in your life to the person you’re obsessed with. Try to enjoy their unique characteristics instead of molding them into another’s shape. Even if your obsession isn’t a person, meeting new people can be a big help. They’ll introduce you to perspectives and ideas you’ve never encountered before.
For example, if you’re obsessed with a person who hates going to art museums and watching foreign films, now’s your chance to dive into these activities you’ve avoided for that person’s sake. If you’re obsessed with a certain subject, try learning about something completely different for a change.
Take a different route to work or school Work out in a different gym, or go to the gym at a different time of day to avoid seeing someone you’re obsessed with Practice mindfulness meditation for 15–20 minutes every day[9] X Expert Source Liana Georgoulis, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 14 April 2021. Instead of getting online first thing in the morning to check your email and go straight to your regular websites, start your day with meditation, a jog, or walking your dog Go to different hangout spots on the weekends Listen to different music while you work
Maybe for you, a makeover means changing something about your appearance. If you’ve been growing your hair long because you think the person you’re obsessed with likes it that way, why not change things up and cut it off? Get a short, chic style that has nothing to do with them whatsoever. If you spend your time online going to the same sites over and over, maybe it’s time to give your room or office a makeover. Rearrange the furniture and get a few new pieces. Clean up your desk and decorate it with new pictures or knick knacks. Get rid of anything that reminds you of what you don’t want to think about, and surround yourself with things that remind you you’re moving forward.
If you have certain repeating thoughts that don’t go away, or if you have to repeat certain rituals over and over, you may have an anxiety disorder called obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). [10] X Trustworthy Source National Institute of Mental Health Informational website from U. S. government focused on the understanding and treatment of mental illness. Go to source If this is the case, it’s important to talk to get help so that you have access to therapies and medications used to treat OCD.
Even if your obsession might not result in something as prestigious as a PhD in astronomy, you can still channel it into something productive. Maybe you’re obsessed with celebrity gossip, and you can’t stop reading tabloids. Why not start a gossip blog or Twitter account to share what you’ve learned? You could also use your obsession as motivation to improve yourself. If you’re obsessed with someone who never looks your way, maybe you’ll decide to change bad habits that are holding you back. Let it be your reason for getting up early to go on morning runs before work, or for reading all the course material so you have something intelligent to say in class.
