You might not feel like going out or talking to friends during this time, and that’s okay. Let yourself cry if you need to. It might make you feel better, especially if you were used by a romantic partner or a close friend. It might help to write out your feelings in a journal. [3] X Expert Source Ashlyne Mullen, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 23 August 2021.
Everyone needs different amounts of time to heal, and there is no set timeline for how long you will need.
If you go to school or work with this person, seeing them may be unavoidable. Keep your interactions short and civil.
Some friends or family members can be too prying when they try to comfort you. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing about what happened, simply don’t talk about it. Approach your friends or family by saying, “I’m going through a rough time right now. Could we spend some time together this week to take my mind off of things?”[11] X Expert Source Ashlyne Mullen, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 23 August 2021. You could also say, “I’m going through a really tough time right now. Could I vent to you for a bit?"[12] X Expert Source Ashlyne Mullen, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 23 August 2021.
If you have been used a lot throughout your life, it can be even easier to think that you are to blame. Remember: someone taking advantage of you shows a flaw in their own character, not yours.
You may be romanticizing someone if you only remember the good times that you two had and reject the bad or painful memories. Also, be sure to release the fantasy of “what could have been. " These fantasies aren’t usually rooted in reality. [15] X Expert Source Ashlyne Mullen, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 23 August 2021.
If you don’t look forward to hanging out with someone or you dread talking to them, they are probably not a great person to have in your life.
You can also look for support groups in your area to find people who have had similar experiences to yours. Their stories may make you feel less alone.
High self-esteem leads to better friendships, relationships, and a more positive outlook on life.
Self-care is different for everyone. Try out a few things until you figure out what works best for you.
Remember that it was not your fault that you were used.
Therapy is beneficial to everyone, not just people who have been used. You may find it helps you in other areas of your life as well.