Some of the most effective techniques for this stem from the practice of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT often focuses on cognitive distortions—such as understanding the illogical source of your negativity but feeling it regardless—and how to help eliminate them. You can learn more about CBT at: How to Use Cognitive Behavioral Theory.
Even if you feel as though you really were not at fault in your specific situation, you may have allowed the negative situation to go on longer than you should have, and you can still learn to be more assertive in the future based on that. Just as crucial as acknowledging any part you played in the negative event, you must also forgive yourself for it. The important thing—as with all negative experiences—is how you use it to learn and grow for the future. [2] X Expert Source Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPClinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Expert Interview. 19 August 2020. By moving away from your role solely as a victim, you also remove the control the person or event has had over your life. [3] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
Before you can forgive the person, you may need to have a conversation where you share your thoughts and feelings about how they hurt you. You might also need them to show you that they’re going to actively work to rebuild your trust. This can take time, but if you both work together, it can be done. [5] X Expert Source Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPClinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Expert Interview. 19 August 2020.
