Staying calm means that you stay in control. If you notice yourself becoming agitated or angry, focus on your breath. Take long, deep breaths until you feel your body and mind settling down. [2] X Research source

The person may not be ready to talk yet. If they don’t seem ready, say, “I can see you’re not ready to talk about this. Let’s revisit this in three days and talk then. ” Prepare for the conversation ahead of time and plan to meet. For example, say, “I want to talk to you about some problems. Are you available to talk on Tuesday?”[4] X Research source

For example, say, “I’m curious as to what’s contributing to your silence. Can you share with me what’s going on?” If they refuse to engage, say, “We can’t move forward if you’re not willing to engage. I need to know what’s going on and I need your cooperation. ” If they remain firm, say that you will revisit the issue later.

You can say, “I’d like to hear what you’re upset about, and I’m willing to listen to you if you’re ready to share. ” Facilitate healthy communication and model appropriate behaviors by asking questions and letting them share without interrupting them. Another option is to write a letter and ask the other person to respond. Sometimes the direct confrontation can be too much if a lot has piled up unsaid.

Stick to the facts about how the lack of communication between both of you means that things don’t get resolved.

Recognize any needs you have and take care of them.

For example, say, “I can tell you’re upset, even if you don’t talk about it. ”

For example, if you said something hurtful, say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how much I hurt you when I said that. " However, do not make this about taking the burden onto your shoulders or taking responsibility for something just to resolve the issue or stop their silence. Acknowledge any wrongdoing on your own behalf but don’t apologize for the sake of ending the silence.

Find a couple’s or family therapist. You can call your insurance provider or local mental health clinic, or obtain a recommendation from a friend, family member, or physician.

Find a trustworthy and supportive friend who’s a good listener. You can also talk to a therapist if you want support and coping strategies.

For example, go for a bike ride, listen to music, paint, or play with your dog. Do the things that make you feel great.

Listen to music, do some yoga, or meditate.

Be firm in addressing the silence. Say, “This is abusive and I won’t stand for it. ” You cannot change someone. If the person has promised to change yet no progress has been made, take some steps to deal with emotional abuse on your own terms. Involve the support of other people. You may need to leave the relationship. Consider if this is a pattern or a one-time occurrence. If it happens often, then it may be abuse. If it happens just one time, they you may want to have a follow-up conversation with the person to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Be assertive in enforcing your boundaries. Say, “I refuse to engage in the silent treatment. Either you need to use a different approach or I can’t be a part of this any longer. ” You can also say, “You might use the silent treatment, but I don’t. We must discuss this. ”

Don’t accept emotional abuse in your life. You deserve relationships with people who are willing and capable of communicating in a mature and healthy manner. People who have long histories of this behavior aren’t likely to be “fixed” for your friendship or relationship. In the end, you will be happier and have more time and space in your life for others who are ready for your friendship or love.

For example, a person may want to shift blame onto you instead of owning their faults. Or, they want to magnify your faults instead of recognizing their own. Whatever it is, the silent treatment makes you feel guilty or at fault instead of them.