Of course, it’s impossible to be in a good mood all of the time. If you’re really having a down day, you shouldn’t feel the need to completely fake it. That said, though, you should work on cultivating a positive energy as much as you can. Potential boyfriends and potential friends are drawn to positive energy like moths to a flame. The more you laugh and the more joy you have in even the smallest things in life, like a clear night sky or an adorable puppy, the more people will be gravitating toward you.
Don’t be afraid to say hi and to ask how he is. If he’s wearing a funny shirt, tell him you think it’s cool. Don’t put too much pressure on your first exchanges and just focus on having fun. Being friendly to others will also make you look like an awesome person who is worth getting to know. Don’t limit your friendliness to the guys you like and make an effort to get to know everyone in your orbit. Casual compliments can be good icebreakers. Something as low-key and simple as “Hey, you look nice today!” can work well. [1] X Expert Source Stefanie SafranDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.
Though you may want to wait to show your raunchy sense of humor or your famous impressions of your cat, Fiddles, you shouldn’t act like a different person, or your connection won’t last long.
A lot of girls are nervous about how to flirt and don’t really know how to go about it. Start with making eye contact and then breaking it, and then have some lighthearted, fun conversations where you may even end up teasing each other a bit. Move closer to the guy and see how he reacts. If he gives you a playful push or seems like he’d be receptive to one, then respond in kind. You can also brush his hand with yours or hug him a little longer than normal. [2] X Expert Source Stefanie SafranDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 8 May 2020. Some girls like to lick their lips a bit when they flirt with guys so they draw more attention to their mouths.
If you know how to take a joke and laugh at yourself, the guy will like you more because he’ll see that you’re easy to be with. Guys don’t like hanging out with girls who make them feel like they’re walking on eggshells. Part of not taking yourself so seriously lies in gaining some maturity and perspective. You need to learn that one fight with your friend or one poor math score isn’t the end of the world and isn’t worth freaking out about.
Be proud of whatever makes you different instead of trying to hide it. Having something that makes you stand out will make a guy be more drawn to you than if you blended in with the crowd.
Body language has a lot to do with conveying confidence. Turn toward the guy when you’re talking to him and avoid looking down at the floor or fidgeting with your hands. Instead, make eye contact, smile, and show that you’re confident in your social interactions. People who are confident talk about the people they love and the things they love to do instead of seeking validation by putting others down. You can show insecurity from time to time and you don’t have to act like the most confident person on the planet all the time. But if you work on loving the person who you are, people will want to soak up some of your positive energy.
If you’ve been trying to make it work with a guy who seems busy, distant, or just not very receptive, then it may be time to move on to bigger and better things.
If you get into the habit of talking about yourself and your own problems all the time, then the guy will quickly get bored. Make sure he’s doing about half of the talking. If you really care about him, then check in with him from time to time to see how he’s doing when you’re not together. If he had a big test, text him to ask how he did. Show that you’re thinking of him when he’s not there. If he’s knowledgeable about something, whether it’s baseball or politics, ask him to talk to you about it so he shows that you care about the things that matter to him. Of course, if you don’t want a breakdown of the history of the Oakland A’s for the next three hours, you can kindly steer the subject in a different direction. Be sure to keep your eyes off your phone when you’re talking to him. This shows that you’re fully focused and paying attention to him. [3] X Expert Source Stefanie SafranDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.
Match the guy’s pace as much as you can. If he’s taking things slow and not revealing a lot of his feelings quite yet, then you can hold back from pouring your heart out and take it slow for the time being. If you start hanging out with each other, play it cool with how often you see each other. You don’t want to make it seem like you’re always available. This will make him appreciate your time together more.
Keep it simple. Say something like, “You have such a natural way of talking to new people. I wish I could do that” or “I’ve never met someone who knows as much about history as you do. ”
You can also find a new interest that you’re interested in exploring together, like a new popular band, a new bowling alley in your town, or going hiking together when neither of you have done it before.
Make sure you both check in with each other about the same amount of time. It should be mutual. Not all guys are big phone talkers. If you call him just to chat while he wants to plan your next date, don’t take it the wrong way.
Take your time. Let him get to know you before you reveal the big stuff or he may get overwhelmed and won’t know how to respond. When he opens up to you, take the time to really listen, instead of revealing more and more about yourself.
Different guys have different approaches to PDA. Some just don’t like holding hands or being super affectionate in public. This doesn’t mean that the guy doesn’t want to be seen with you, but that he’s just a little shy about making his private feelings public. Of course, if holding hands in public is really important to you, you two can find a compromise.
Guys like it when a girl can keep them on their toes. If the guy knows exactly what to expect from you every time you talk, then he’ll be less excited to see you. Of course, you don’t want to get to the point that you’re acting so aloof that he doesn’t think you like him at all. Make sure he does believe in your feelings for him.
This could mean taking a spontaneous road trip once a month, taking up ballroom dancing together, or learning to cook French cuisine together.
You don’t have to hang out with his friends every second of the day, but when you do see them, say hi and ask how they’re doing and even joke around with them a bit. If you’re serious about the guy you’re with, then you should prepare to be interacting with his friends a lot in the future.
Developing traditions together can help your relationship feel special and unique and can give you more things to look forward to together.
Every relationship moves at its own pace, and you shouldn’t pressure your boyfriend to do what your best friends, neighbors, or cousins are doing. You should decide to move forward together. It shouldn’t be all about putting the pressure on or for waiting for the guy to make the move.
It’s important to always make time for your girlfriends, no matter how serious things are with your guy. They’ll help ground you and will remind you of the person you are apart from your guy and can help you get some perspective. Plus, if you and your guy spend more time apart, your time together will be sweeter because you’ll be more excited to see each other.
Girls can be romantic just as well as boys. Plan a date to sweep him off his feet, go on a surprise weekend getaway in the mountains, or spend your anniversary in the same ice cream shop where you went on your first date. Never stop showing your guy how much you love him and he’ll do the same for you.
