On the surface it might seem as though you and your cousin do not have much in common. But if you keep your contact consistent and ask them questions about their life, you are likely to find things that both of you have in common, from something as simple as personality traits to similar hobbies. [2] X Research source For example, maybe you both like to play online games or enjoy Pinterest. You could set up a match against one another or follow their Pinterest boards. You can use not having many commonalities to benefit both of you. This may give each of you a different way to look at the world or introduce you to new activities that you enjoy. [3] X Research source For example, if your cousin loves hiking and you have never really been hiking, consider a hike together. You might enjoy it and even if you do not, it will still help them like you more because you’re open to new experiences. [4] X Research source
Social media has made it easier to stay in contact with cousins. You can find different ways to stay in touch with your cousin on websites such as Facebook and Twitter. The prevalence of cell phones has made it easier to send text messages. You can send either traditional text messages or use free messaging services such as Viber and What’sApp. Online video chatting, through applications like Skype or FaceTime, also make it easy to stay in touch in a much more personal way. Remember to stay positive and respectful. Do not insult or willingly hurt your cousin. If you do accidentally hurt her, apologize and move on.
Making your cousin laugh or laughing at something funny they do will help get them to like you. Everyone loves a person who makes others feel happy. Be flexible in what you do. You won’t necessarily like every activity your cousin suggests or likes, as they won’t necessarily have the same taste as you. But being flexible will help build your relationship. Your cousin should be as respectful of your choices, too. Make sure to spend time together outside of family gatherings. They can often be stressful and create unwanted drama in relationships. [9] X Research source
One of the best ways to show interest in your cousin is to ask them questions. They can be as simple as “do you like to…” to asking them to explain something about their education or where they live. [12] X Research source [13] X Research source
Be consistent in your communications. Once you have reestablished contact with your cousin, be consistent in your communications. This does not mean you have to respond to messages or calls immediately, but having regular contact will build trust between you. One of the most important components of gaining your cousin’s trust is by listening to them. Show them that their interests and problems are important to you. [15] X Research source [16] X Research source For example, if they’re having trouble in school or with friends, talk to them about their feelings and help them find a solution to the problem. Sharing secrets with one another will also help gain your cousin’s trust. Just make sure not to tell anyone their secrets because this may lead to conflict. [17] X Research source
There are different ways to reach out to your cousin, including a letter, an email, or a phone call. Social media is also an option: You could friend your cousin on Facebook or follow them on Instagram. Even this small gesture helps pave the way for further communication. Start with a simple message, such as, “We used to be so close and I have missed you. It would be great to be in contact more frequently if you like. " This kind of message lets them know your feelings and puts the ball in their court regarding further contact.
Your cousin may have different beliefs and values than you. Respect and appreciate those differences to show that you’re serious about your relationship. [19] X Research source Being respectful includes not insulting your cousin or their family members. Taunting or tattling on them or telling their secrets to others is also a sign of disrespect. [20] X Research source
Keep your first meetings simple. Suggest coffee, lunch, a movie, or sporting event. You can meet for longer periods once you have had a chance to see each other in shorter spans.
Stay in touch with your cousin on websites such as Facebook and Twitter. Call or text them. You can send either traditional text messages or use free messaging services such as Viber and What’sApp. Online video chatting, via applications like Skype or FaceTime, also make it easy to stay in touch in a more personal way.
Remembering dates that are important to your cousin will help maintain your relationship. Write down birthdays, anniversaries, and important upcoming events so that you send your cousin wishes on these dates. Offering to help your cousin, when they have a problem or otherwise, also shows that you still care about them. This can be as simple as babysitting when their regular sitter cancels, helping them with homework, or helping them shop for a special item of clothing. [22] X Research source
You’ll occasionally have negative emotions or moments in any chat or interaction. Do your best to handle these situations in a calm and respectful manner and then move on. Avoiding family drama will help you to keep the relationship with your cousin respectful and positive. [23] X Research source [24] X Research source
