Do things like get enough sleep, go out with friends, and spend a day pampering yourself to help yourself feel better. However, don’t wait too long. It’s best to retrieve your things within a couple of weeks of the breakup.
Worst case scenario, you may have to call if your ex does not return your texts after a few days.
Be as agreeable as possible, even if it’s painful. Petty arguments often surface after breakups due to lingering emotions, so remind yourself to remain composed if you get angry. The sooner you get your things, the better. If you’re having a hard time scheduling a pick-up time, see if at least some of the smaller items can be mailed to you.
Say something like, “Can you let me know a good time?” and ask any questions you have (i. e. , “Can I let myself in or do you want to be there when I come over?”).
Make sure you’re respectful when asking your ex to box up your items. Say something like, “Is there any way you could gather my things for me so we can get through this smoothly?”
Make sure you pick the right friend to help. A friend who’s prone to drama may be tempted to start a fight with your ex. Instead, opt for a friend who’s generally cool and composed, even in stressful situations. If your ex is giving you a really hard time about retrieving your stuff, contact a friend or family member of your ex that you are on good terms with. They may be willing to help you.
For example, ask, “How’s work?” or make a comment on the weather. Avoid open questions and topics that could yield negative answers. Asking “How have you been?”, for example, may lead your ex to talk about their difficulty with the breakup. They also may pretend to be fine to hurt your feelings.
If you want to say a goodbye before you go, keep it brief. Now is not the time to drag up lingering resentments or talk over the relationship. Say something like, “I’m going to take off now. I hope you’re doing okay. "
For example, maybe you both want the TV you bought together. See if your ex would offer a trade. Maybe you also both really like a particular coffee table, but your ex is a little more attached. Agree to let them have the coffee table if you can have the television set. For items you absolutely can’t agree on, see if your ex is willing to sell the item and split the money.
For example, you have a dog with your ex. You have a demanding job and are away for long hours during the day, while your ex works from home. It makes sense to let your ex take the dog, as they’ll be able to provide it with the most attention and care. It can be hard to let go of a pet. If you and your ex are still on good terms, you might be able to do something like have visiting hours with the pet or meet up at a local dog park on occasion.
For example, if your ex gave you their great-grandfather’s watch, this should be returned.
In some cases, however, you may need to bring in a friend or even a lawyer to mediate. If your ex is insisting on keeping high priced items, which you legally own, it may be worth your effort to try to get them back.
